Short Mel Service

The smoothness of a spoon slipping through your mouth as you slide the food off is really satisfying.

A sign on a bench at melb central station warns the seat is 'loose and dangerous'. Sounds like a pulp novel!

Imagine how noisy it would have been back in the day, with horses being all the traffic.

It's so satisfying when you pick up your opened can of drink and it's still heavy. There's still drinking left to look forward to.

I'm nuts about !!!'s album Myth Takes. It takes me back to the sheer euphoria I felt watching them right down the front at Golden Plains. It makes me feel like a hero.

Today I felt so fiercely glad to be alive, so joyfully bewildered to be occupying my body, smelling and seeing and feeling and being in the world.

Just went to a bar toilet and was handed a wheel of toilet paper like a wheel of cheese. Wtf am I meant to do with this massive wheel of toilet paper?

I think Rowan Atkinson should retire the Mr Bean character. It's getting tired.

I'm at trivia and it's an entire round about masturbation songs. The whole pub is currently singing along to "I Touch Myself".

I'm in Pellegrini's and if Rose Byrne isn't sitting next to me on the bar, it's a girl who looks astonishingly like her!

Ew, I finally heard my housemate and his girlfriend having sex. God, I can still hear it in my room with the door closed. I had to put on music myself!

I just saw a guy who looked like Daniel Craig... in 30 years and with a moustache.

I love the quietness after having cried hysterically. It's almost like post-orgasm quietness. You feel wrung out.

I just saw a guy who looked like the dirt Skeet Ulrich! He was quite hott in an ex-private school garage band way.