Short Mel Service

If they wanted to bust me big time, they'd disguise met inspectors as international students. Nobody would ever suspect them.

Never trust a man who wears a mustard coloured business shirt.

Why, when Mario's has so many hot and friendly male waiters, am I always served by the surly female ones?

The way I rest my hand on my hip comes out really stylishly in photographs.

Sometimes babies' cries sound like cats miaowing.

I would really like someone to massage my shoulders right now.

I have formulated a genius plan for tmrw. It shall be Drunk All Day Wednesday.

I think the key to a masculine or feminine mouth is the upper lip. The plumper it is, the more girly you look.

You know, when Einstein was younger I'd totally have hit that. Genius hott!!