Short Mel Service

2007-07-28T15:13:00.000+10:00

Is it like a company rule that every Brown Gouge dry cleaner has to have a daggy old wedding dress on display in the window?

2007-07-28T13:18:00.000+10:00

Bracksy was a bit of a honey in his younger days!

2007-07-24T20:47:00.000+10:00

Would it be too damning to say that the singer in a particular Melb band "makes Ian Curtis sound like Pavarotti"?

2007-07-22T11:55:00.000+10:00

I just saw a poster of Marilyn Manson and someone had graffitied 666 on his forehead, which struck me as really retarded.

2007-06-21T08:40:00.000+10:00

And now I'm @ blue train about to have eggs benedict and coffee. Best morning evz!

2007-06-21T08:18:00.000+10:00

I'm on the Garden City bus! Even though I'm only going to work and not Garden City, it is the most exciting morning I've had in ages!

2007-06-16T00:06:00.000+10:00

Someone has to unmask The Gossip as a lame fraud. They're being played @ this DJ night I'm at now.

2007-06-16T00:05:00.000+10:00

The thing about DJing is the explosion of awesome when the crowd gets each track. I'm @ an indie night @ a Sydney pub.

2007-06-12T20:06:00.000+10:00

Hey, remember that night we saw that dude who said his girlfriend cheated on him with his mate? I'm pretty sure I just saw the same guy with a smackie-looking chick, saying he needed cash for an epilepsy script.

2007-06-09T13:10:00.000+10:00

There's a busking act in the Bourke St mall that reminds me of the Bulgarian act from Eurovision. Massive drums and shrieking over techno beats!

2007-05-05T03:12:00.000+10:00

I just found the weirdest object on my bedroom floor - a guitar pick folded into a sticker about subwoofers. No idea how it got there. It seems portentous.

2007-05-03T00:15:00.000+10:00

My blouse is blowing in the wind. I feel like I'm in a power ballad video!

2007-05-01T21:51:00.000+10:00

Club X is advertising its 'Ram Lounge' as "revamped thrusting fun". It strikes me as odd that they'd use the word 'thrusting'.

2007-05-01T13:07:00.000+10:00

I just saw a guy who looked just like the young Dennis Quaid!

2007-04-23T12:56:00.000+10:00

Teen girl on train: "I only just worked out what 'you jerked off on my toast' meant this year."

2007-04-21T18:41:00.000+10:00

The restaurant we're having the wedding reception in has an open kitchen - like in Curb Your Enthusiasm. Hopefully we'll all be swearing like motherfuckers soon.

2007-04-19T13:23:00.000+10:00

Overheard on Sydney train: teen hoochie talking about some dance movie. "It was full sick but it was also ill."

2007-04-11T21:40:00.000+10:00

I'm at the Melb premiere of the all-male Swan Lake and I've already spotted Dannii Minogue and David from Big Brother!!

2007-04-09T22:48:00.000+10:00

Mik Grigg's irritating column wasn't in Sunday's paper! But last week: footballer's girlfriend says Bali is her fav place "in the whole world, I've been 10 times"!

2007-04-08T23:20:00.000+10:00

The new Chili Peppers song blows so unbelievably hard it makes John Butler look funky. How did they come to this?

2007-04-04T08:35:00.000+10:00

I just thought of a swimming-themed lesbian porno called Lap It Up. Think of the breaststroke possibilities!

2007-04-02T17:15:00.000+10:00

Do birds sing because they are happy, because they have something to say, or because they feel that's what they ought to be doing right now?

2007-03-31T15:10:00.000+10:00

The smoothness of a spoon slipping through your mouth as you slide the food off is really satisfying.

2007-03-29T19:09:00.000+10:00

A sign on a bench at melb central station warns the seat is 'loose and dangerous'. Sounds like a pulp novel!

2007-03-29T15:55:00.001+10:00

Imagine how noisy it would have been back in the day, with horses being all the traffic.